It finally happened, I lost my virginity. Cue applause and cheers.
For a while life was all rainbows and kittens prancing in a sky full of cotton candy clouds…that was until the demands of the real world set in.
My best friend is getting married and she asked me to be her maid of honor. She’s not worried about flowers, or the dress, or the food at the venue. No, she’s worried about the bachelorette party, what kind of penis crown she will wear, and the nipple size of the stripper who will be attending.
I’m in way over my head trying to balance life with a boyfriend, planning a penis party, and writing my romance novel. Something is bound to give.
This is my life after my happily ever after…
First and foremost I would like to give a HUGE thanks to the lovely Mrs Quinn for kindly providing me with a copy of “The Randy Romance Novelist” to read and review, this book was certainly one full of sexual innuendo’s and witty quotes that will leave the reading crying with laughter.
What happens when you mix together love, sex, crazy best friends, lots of sex, a bridezilla, and a world-killing dominating cat?
“I had sexual intercourse I did the dirty, I performed the sexuals, I horizontally twerked it.
Basically what happened was penis met vagina and had one hell of a party down at pleasure palace.”
Henry is such a lovable character – He’s swoony-worthy, sexy and sweet—he’s also head over heels in love with one of the unluckiest, most lovably awkward characters I’ve ever experienced – Rosie Bloom.
Rosie – as you may know (if NOT, step away from the book and read The Virgin Romance Novelist) is a up-and coming romance novelist who not only JUST lost her V card, she found true love in her best-friend – Henry.
But when their lives become complicated by the trappings of the real world, (work, prior relationships, etc.), Rosie begins to doubt her relationship with Henry.
I love that we get to read Henry’s perspective this time around, since The Randy Romance Novelist is told in dual POV.
I’m very curious to see if there will be more Rosie and Henry in the future, but if not, I feel like Randy leaves us in a very good place with them.
Ms. Quinn is so gifted when it comes to her unique writing style, she’s ballsy, quirky and different. And I love HER for that.
Her bosom heaved at an alarming rate as his rough hand found its way down to her soft, yet wiry briar patch…
Can you say briar patch in a romance novel? What about meat sword? That’s what it is…a meat sword, right, all meaty and sword like, slaying through the inner dungeons of a woman’s dark desires. What about breasts? Do bosoms really heave?
God, I have no idea what happens when private parts touch.
I’m a virgin trying to write a romance novel and can’t seem to write past a sex scene thanks to my lack of experience.
My two best friends encourage me to drop the pen for a while and gain some real life practice through multiple dating facets such as blind dates, online profiles, and random hookups.
But losing my virginity is proving to be tougher than expected…
kind of lube the nervous stranger will bring home to his wife. Oh and she loves a good boob squeeze!