Tour Schedule Link: http://bit.ly/1b9Kw1M
Title: Until You
Series: A Fall Away Novel, Book #1.5
Author: Penelope Douglas
Genre: New Adult Contemporary Romance
Release Date: December 10, 2013
Tour Organized by: As the Pages Turn
***This novel contains graphic sexual content and harsh language. It is only appropriate for adult readers age 18+.***
Have you ever been so angry that hitting things felt good? Or so numb that you actually felt high? The past few years have been like that for me. Traveling between fury and indifference with no stops in between.
Some people hate me for it, while others are scared of me. But none of them can hurt me, because I don’t care about anything or anyone.
I love her so much that I hate her. We used to be friends, but I found out that I couldn’t trust her or anyone else.
So I hurt her. I pushed her away.
But I still need her. The sight of her centers me, and I can pool all of my anger into her. Engaging her, challenging her, bullying her…they are my food, my air, and the last part of me that feels anything human.
But she left. She went to France for a year, and came back a different girl.
Now, when I push, she pushes back.
** May Contain Spoilers **
First off I want to give Penelope a HUGE fricking thank you not only writing “Bully” & “Until You” but for providing me with an ARC to read and review for the blog tour.
“Until You” is Jared’s P.O.V of Bully but with extra and more shenanigans.
Who knew reading from a dominant male’s P.O.V could be sooo….sooooo….sooooo GOD DAMN PAINSTAKINGLY BEAUTIFUL.
If you’ve read “Bully” then you’ll know the jist of the story and that when Tate pushed back you can practically feel the tension brewing throughout this book.
The sexual tension between Jared & Tate is unimaginable, even me as a reader, I wanted a piece of this Jared from the beginning, even though he is being a dick, I think the bad guy draws anyone in!
Originally I was scared to think that this was just going to be a copy of “Bully” but through the eyes of Jared. I was soooo off the mark, yes we go through the events, if not shown more, but its the emotional tie we get with Jared, we learn more of him, what makes him tick. His struggle with his childhood. The loss of a father figure, the memories of a drunken mother….this of course doesn’t excuse Jared for all the SHITE him and Maddoc pulled with Tate, we it gives us a better understanding of his thoughts.
To this day there is still that one scene that gets me, peaks my emotional senses. I think you all know which scene I’m talking about, if not here’s a recap
If you haven’t read “Bully” then I suggest you skip this part 🙂
(Pre warned you)
“I like storms” I started. “Thunder, torrential rain, puddles, wet shoes. When clouds roll in, I get filled with this giddy expectation.” Just keep going, Tate. I tried to envision that I was speaking to my dad or grandma. Keep it neutral.
“Everything is more beautiful in the rain. Don’t ask me why.” My shoulders shrugged. “But it’s like this whole other realm of opportunity. I used to feel like a superhero, riding my bike over the dangerously slick roads, or maybe an Olympic athlete enduring rough trials to make it to the finish line.”
My smile spread with the memories. Memories of Jared and me.
“On sunny days, as a girl, I could still wake up to that thrilled feeling. You made me giddy with expectation, just like a symphonic rainstorm. Your were a tempest in the sun, the thunder in a boring, cloudless sky.”
“I remember I’s shovel in my breakfast as fast as I could, so I could knock on your door. We’d plat hide and seek, you’d push me on the swing, or we’d climb trees. Being your sidekick gave me a sense of home again.”
I exhaled, finally relaxing, and my eyes drifted over to meet his. I saw him watching me, breathing hard, almost as it he was frozen. Stay with me, Jared.
“You see,” my eyes stayed on him, “when I was ten, my mom died. She had cancer, and I lost her before I really knew her. My world felt so insecure, and I was scared. You were the person that turned things right again. With you, I became courageous and free. It was like the part of me that dies with my mom came back when I met you, and I didn’t hurt anymore. Northing hurt if I knew I had you.” Pools of tears filled my eyes as the class leaned in to listen to me.
“Then one day, out of the blue, I lost you, too. The hurt returned, and I flt sick when I saw you hating me. My rainstorm was gone, and you became cruel. There was no explanation. You were just gone. And my heart was ripped open. I missed you. I missed my mom.” My voice cracked, and I didn’t wipe away the tear that fell.
“What was worse than losing you was when you started to hurt me. Your words and actions made me hate coming to school. They made me uncomfortable in my own home.” I swallowed, and the knot in my chest lessened.
“Everything still hurts, but I know none of it is my fault. There are a lot of words that I could use to describe you, but the only one that includes sad, angry, miserable , and pitiful is COWARD. In a year, I’ll be gone, and you’ll be nothing but some washout whose height and existence was in high school.” My eyes still on Jared, and my voice got strong again. The ache in my face from trying to hold back tears eased. “You were my tempest, my thunder cloud, my tree in the downpour. I loved all those things, and I loved you. But now? You’re a fucking drought. I thought all the ass holes drove German cars, but it turns out that pricks in Mustangs can still leave scars.”
Looking around the class, I noticed everyone leaned in and was quiet. One girl was tearing up. I finished wiping a tear from my cheeks and grinned.
I headed for the door and Ben followed behind. We pushed through the door, hand in hand. My eyes shot to Jared, who had his forehead leaned into the wall. He turned around, and I noticed that the whites of his eyes were red. Hands tucked into the front pocket of his black hoodie, he was breathing like he’d just run a mile. Other than that, there was no emotion. He didn’t look upset of happy. Nothing.
“See ya, Jared.” Ben called out as we passed, oblivious to what had just passed between Jared and me in the classroom.
Jared didn’t reply but kept his eyes focused on me. For once, there was no anger or cruelty in his stare.
What was happening in his head?
And would I ever find out?
So after everything that’s occurred I’m still Pissed with a capital P with the way Jared and Maddoc screwed around with K.C and Tate.
I can’t to get stuck into Madoc’s story “Rival” which is due to be released Summer 2014. Madoc was an alluring and intriguing character for me in both “Bully” and “Until You” He’s like a lapdog, just jumping on the badwagon, not really doing stuff for himself. You can start to tell he didn’t like following Jared’s ways of torment to Tate in “Until You”.
I can’t wait to hear all sorts of deceptions & lies and get stuck into more of the BEST writing I’ve read in 2013 so far when “Rival” comes to our Kindle, iPad, Computer….what ever you read on, in sunny 2014!
“Jared, I’m a bad mother.” She swallowed hard, obviously trying to hold back
I looked off to the side, unable to meet her eyes. “I made it through, Mom.”
“You did… somewhat. I’m proud of you. You’re strong, and you’re not a follower.
I know I’ll send you into the world a survivor.” Her light voice turned firm and
serious. “I wouldn’t want any other son. But, Jared, you’re not happy.”
The air around me got tight, pushing me from all sides, and I didn’t know where
to turn to get out. “Who’s happy? Are you?” I barked.
“Jared, I was seventeen when I got pregnant with you.” She folded her arms and
hugged herself, more like hiding from something than warming herself. “I’m only
thirty-six now. People I graduated with—some of them—are just starting their
families. I was so young. I had no support. I didn’t get a chance to live before I had
my world turned upside down—,”
“Yeah, I get it, alright,” I cut her off. “I’ll be out of your hair by June.”
“That’s not what I meant.” She moved closer, her voice raspy and holding out
her hand as if to stop my thoughts. “You were the gift, Jared. The light. Your father
was the hell. I thought I loved him. He was strong, confident, and cocky. I idolized
him…” She trailed off, and I swear I could hear her heart breaking as her eyes fell to
I didn’t want to hear about that asshole, but I knew she needed to talk. And for
some reason I wanted to let her.
“I idolized him for about a month,” she continued. “Long enough to get
pregnant and get stuck with him.” And then she looked at me again. “But I was
young and immature. I thought I knew everything. Drinking was my escape, and I
abandoned you. You never deserved that.
When I saw Tate trying to make you
happy that night, I let her. The next morning you weren’t in your room. When I
looked out your window, I could see you both passed out in her bed, just sleeping.
So I let it be. For years, I knew you were sneaking over there to sleep, and I let it go,
because she made you happy when I failed.”
The purest, truest, most perfect thing in my world, and I’d dumped pile upon
pile of shit on top of her for years.
A knot of realization worked its way into my head, and I felt like punching my
fist through a fucking wall.
“Jesus Christ.” I combed my hands through my hair, my eyes squeezing shut as I
whispered to myself. “I’ve been so horrible to her.”
My mother, like Mr. Brandt, probably knew nothing of what I’d put Tate through,
but she did know that we weren’t friends anymore.
“Honey,” she spoke up, “you’ve been horrible to everyone. Some of us deserved
it, some of us not. But Tate loves you. She’s your best friend. She’ll forgive you.”
“I love her.” It was the most honest thing I’d confided in my mother in a long
My father could kiss his own ass, and my mother and I would survive, for better
or worse. But Tate?
I needed her.
“I know you love her. And I love you,” she said as she reached out and touched
my cheek. “You’re not letting your father or me take anything else from you, do you
Tears burned my eyes, and I couldn’t hold them back.
“How do I know I’m not going to be like him?” I whispered.
My mother was quiet as she studied me, and then her eyes narrowed.
“Tell her the truth,” she instructed. “Trust her with everything, especially your
heart. Do that, and you’re already not like your father.”
About The Author:
Penelope Douglas is a writer and teacher in Las Vegas. Born in Dubuque, Iowa, she is the oldest of five children. Penelope attended the University of Northern Iowa, earning a Bachelor’s degree in Public Administration, because her father told her to “just get the degree!” She then earned a Masters of Science in Education at Loyola University in New Orleans, because she hated Public Administration. One night, she got tipsy and told the bouncer at the bar where she worked that his son was hot,
and three years later they were married. To the son, not the bouncer. They have spawn, but just one. A daughter named Aydan. Penelope loves sweets, the show Sons of Anarchy, and she shops at Target almost daily.
Tour Wide Giveaway
Penelope is offering up (1) Kindle Paperwhite, (5) $50 gift cards to either Amazon or B&N, (5) Prize packs (bookmarks, rack cards, a custom key chain and signed copies of Bully and Until You) or (10) eBook copies of Bully up for grabs. The giveaways are open internationally. Giveaway ends at 11:59 PM CST 12/23/2013.
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Other Books in the Series
Series: A Fall Away Novel, Book #1
Author: Penelope Douglas
Genre: New Adult Contemporary Romance
Release Date: June 17, 2013
My name is Tate. He doesn’t call me that, though. He would never refer to me so informally, if he referred to me at all. No, he’ll barely even speak to me.
But he still won’t leave me alone.
We were best friends once. Then he turned on me and made it his mission to ruin my life. I’ve been humiliated, shut out, and gossiped about all through high school.
His pranks and rumors got more sadistic as time wore on, and I made myself sick trying to stay out of his way. I even went to France for a year, just to avoid him.
But I’m done hiding from him now, and there’s no way in hell I’ll allow him to ruin my senior year. He might not have changed, but I have. It’s time to fight back.
*This novel contains adult/mature young adult situations. It is only suitable for ages 18+ due to language, violence, and sexual situations.***
**This book is the first in a series but can be read as a STAND ALONE. The next books will focus on side characters from this story***
Check out my review here: http://wp.me/p3EDpo-6p